mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
