Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
