just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i drank out of a bidet.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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