real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
