Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
