there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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