The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize