you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
