My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
