Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
