I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
