I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
handjob tips. give me some.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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