I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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