My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
