I want to have your abortion
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
