You really coming over, don't trick.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
