Having a random hookup so left but love u
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
