remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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