it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
