I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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