It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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