Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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