community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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