omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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