So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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