Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
