She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
