She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
