seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
