I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
