the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
