Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
