People in love make me want to vomit
it hurts more in the daytime
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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