my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
