who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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