I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
