Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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