u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
