K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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