Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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