its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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