so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
