i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize