You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize