i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
