At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
