Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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