i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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