Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
