I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
