omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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