im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize