Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
