Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
