did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
