i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
