just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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