We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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