i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
