She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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