Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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