bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
A+ Viking dick
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
