I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
